Saturday, December 26, 2009


Dear 2010,

Please o please be better than 2009. If you will pardon me, it sucked pretty bad, so let's agree it can only get better, k?

Seriously, I had a pretty major shock to the system yesterday on many levels. When something like this happens, it's good to know who your friends really are, and it's really hard to realize that some of the people you'd love to run to are no longer there for you, due to deaths figurative and real. No matter what happened to me, I do realize that I have a seriously amazing sister and brother. An amazingly strong grandmother, and aunt, and a wonderful cousin that I love dearly, and lives too far away.

This was the first Christmas in my entire life that I did not have Christmas dinner with family. It has all been so surreal, most of this year has been surreal. My grandmother is 90 years old, and even so, she tried to shield me, ME from an attack that never should have happened. I will never forget the realization and site of seeing her knocked back to the ground. I don't think this will ever leave me. I am hurt, and sad, but I am also strengthened and proud of myself after all of this. I'm glad to be back home, and I know who I am, what I want, and definitely what I don't want. I know that I will NEVER let anyone treat me like that again, or anyone I love. I am grateful to have wonderful friends to keep me from believing all of the horrible things that were spewed at me. I will just have to keep reminding myself of all of the things I AM thankful for and just keep on keeping on.

Things I am thankful for today:
My grandmother didn't break a hip.
My uncle gave me a Canon Rebel.
My new skirt, barrette, and fascinator from Anthropologie.
I have the best sister and brother in the world.
I got a part in a film!
I have some pretty great friends.
I am about to try out Contra and Scandinavian dancing.
It's possible I have the sweetest dog in the world.
I get knocked down, but I get up again...

Here's hoping 2010 is going to be amazing! (and for goodness sakes people - buy your black eyed peas early!) :)

Can't wait to wear these!

No comments: